Christianity article by Ann Coulter

If You Can Find a Better Deal, Take It!
by Ann Coulter

Someone mentioned Christianity on television recently and liberals reacted with their usual howls of rage and blinking incomprehension.

On a Fox News panel discussing Tiger Woods, Brit Hume said, perfectly accurately:

“The extent to which he can recover, it seems to me, depends on his faith. He is said to be a Buddhist. I don’t think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. So, my message to Tiger would be, ‘Tiger, turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world.”

Hume’s words, being 100 percent factually correct, sent liberals into a tizzy of sputtering rage, once again illustrating liberals’ copious ignorance of Christianity. (Also illustrating the words of the Bible: “How is it you do not understand me when I speak? It is because you cannot bear to listen to my words.” John 8:43.)

In The Washington Post, Tom Shales demanded that Hume apologize, saying he had “dissed about half a billion Buddhists on the planet.”

Is Buddhism about forgiveness? Because, if so, Buddhists had better start demanding corrections from every book, magazine article and blog posting ever written on the subject, which claims Buddhists don’t believe in God, but try to become their own gods.

I can’t imagine that anyone thinks Tiger’s problem was that he didn’t sufficiently think of himself as a god, especially after that final putt in the Arnold Palmer Invitational last year.

In light of Shales’ warning Hume about “what people are saying” about him, I hope Hume’s a Christian, but that’s not apparent from his inarguable description of Christianity. Of course, given the reaction to his remarks, apparently one has to be a regular New Testament scholar to have so much as a passing familiarity with the basic concept of Christianity.

On MSNBC, David Shuster invoked the “separation of church and television” (a phrase that also doesn’t appear in the Constitution), bitterly complaining that Hume had brought up Christianity “out-of-the-blue” on “a political talk show.”

Why on earth would Hume mention religion while discussing a public figure who had fallen from grace and was in need of redemption and forgiveness? Boy, talk about coming out of left field!

What religion — what topic — induces this sort of babbling idiocy? (If liberals really want to keep people from hearing about God, they should give Him his own show on MSNBC.)

Most perplexing was columnist Dan Savage’s indignant accusation that Hume was claiming that Christianity “offers the best deal — it gives you the get-out-of-adultery-free card that other religions just can’t.”

In fact, that’s exactly what Christianity does. It’s the best deal in the universe. (I know it seems strange that a self-described atheist and “radical sex advice columnist f*****” like Savage would miss the central point of Christianity, but there it is.)

God sent his only son to get the crap beaten out of him, die for our sins and rise from the dead. If you believe that, you’re in. Your sins are washed away from you — sins even worse than adultery! — because of the cross.

“He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross.” Colossians 2:14.

Surely you remember the cross, liberals — the symbol banned by ACLU lawsuits from public property throughout the land?

Christianity is simultaneously the easiest religion in the world and the hardest religion in the world.

In the no-frills, economy-class version, you don’t need a church, a teacher, candles, incense, special food or clothing; you don’t need to pass a test or prove yourself in any way. All you’ll need is a Bible (in order to grasp the amazing deal you’re getting) and probably a water baptism, though even that’s disputed.

You can be washing the dishes or walking your dog or just sitting there minding your business hating Susan Sarandon and accept that God sent his only son to die for your sins and rise from the dead … and you’re in!

“Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9.

If you do that, every rotten, sinful thing you’ve ever done is gone from you. You’re every bit as much a Christian as the pope or Billy Graham.

No fine print, no “your mileage may vary,” no blackout dates. God ought to do a TV spot: “I’m God Almighty, and if you can find a better deal than the one I’m offering, take it.”

The Gospel makes this point approximately 1,000 times. Here are a few examples at random:

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23.

In a boiling rage, liberals constantly accuse Christians of being “judgmental.” No, we’re relieved.

Christianity is also the hardest religion in the world because, if you believe Christ died for your sins and rose from the dead, you have no choice but to give your life entirely over to Him. No more sexual promiscuity, no lying, no cheating, no stealing, no killing inconvenient old people or unborn babies — no doing what all the other kids do.

And no more caring what the world thinks of you — because, as Jesus warned in a prophecy constantly fulfilled by liberals: The world will hate you.

With Christianity, your sins are forgiven, the slate is wiped clean and your eternal life is guaranteed through nothing you did yourself, even though you don’t deserve it. It’s the best deal in the universe.

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Video from the Whelchel Family 2009

Greetings Friends and Family,
Wishing you the best this holiday season and the very best for 2010.

Love,
The Whelchels

Click here to watch our video!

Sausage – The Divine Good Eat

You may not think sausage qualifies as a divine eat but if you consider its exquisite flavors coupled with its unending methods of consumption you may find yourself agreeing soon enough.  If ever there was a miracle of the food world it is sausage.  There are countless varieties to sink one’s teeth into as well as the infinite combination of meats, fruits, vegetables, herbs, seasonings, etc.  Not to mention all the ways to prepare it.  Smoked, poached, grilled in the casing -   sauted, fried, baked without.    Today I am making a breakfast tart with fresh homemade sausage.  A few days ago we had biscuits and gravy with sausage and before that sausage patties.  If you can grind it, it can be made into sausage.  And that brings me to my post today.  When pork butt goes on sale for $.99 a pound its sausage making time.  I have a Kitchen Aid mixer with the grinder and stuffer attachments I bought a few years ago.  Its not too hard or as time consuming to do it as one may think (except for turkey – my back was sore for 3 days after grinding that disgusting stuff).  And nothing tastes better than freshly made sausage.  This day I was making country sausage because thats my favorite breakfast meat.  I have my own recipe which I have used with mixed results.  I plan to use Alton Brown’s recipe the next time I make it. 

 

me making sausage

Obama making sausage

Balloon Boy – just a pop and a corn away

The story that has captivated the world for the past few days began only 6 short miles from our house.  I remember feeling so sad for the family while at the same time angry at their stupidity for creating circumstances that would allow a 6 yr old boy to fly 50 miles from home at heights of 20,000 ft.  Of course that all pales in comparison to the truth surfacing now – that it was all a hoax.  Now my heart breaks for those 3 kids.  That their parents are so narcissistic.  That their dad may be abusive to his wife.  That they may lose their kids to the state for their actions.  That their parents Richard and Mayumi Heene may go to prison.  All in the pursuit of fame and money.

No boy - just hot air

 When I was younger people used to surprise me at the evil that they were capable of, but now nothing surprises me.  I know anyone, anywhere at anytime is capable of the most heinous evil not even imaginable.   Unless people believe and subscribe to a moral idea outside of themselves there is no lasting restraint available.  We either live for ourselves or we live for God.  Even Mr. T doesn’t have enough pity for those two fools.

Adjusting self-adjusting door hinges

We have a heavy wooden door leading to our garage which swings on self-adjusting hinges.  It closed too fast and too hard so here is how I adjusted it.

  

 

First, use something strong and small enough like an allen wrench to slide into an open hole.

 

 

 

 

 

Next, pull back releasing the tension on the cylinder. 

 

  

 

 

 

 

Use a pair of needle nose pliers to remove the metal stud which holds the cylinder in place. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now place the metal stud into a new hole and release the cylinder gently.  If your grip slips, the allen wrench can snap onto your fingers like a mouse trap, so be careful and use those pliers.

Make sure to adjust both hinges to equal tensions and you’re done.

The redunkulousness of having a coffee budget

WHO would have though 15-20 years ago one would need to budget for their coffee consumption?  Who in their right mind would think anyone would pay $3.50 for a coffee?  God Bless America!

You know, I expect to be over-charged and pay $3.50 for my mocha habit at Starbucks.  What I don’t expect and what gives me an awkward tinge of guilty heartburn is paying $3.75 for a smaller size at my church coffee shop.  Yes, I belong to one of those cool, trendy churches that actually has a cafe’ on its premises.  That aside, where is the tenet of generosity of our faith when my wallet is hijacked by the looting horde of mocha’s, caramel macchiatos and green tea lattes?  Of course I know I don’t have to succumb to the temptation, but if you want to go there, should the church be in the business of tempting me to begin with?  It’s an unholy alliance from top to bottom!  Especially when you consider they charge $1 a donut!  Remember the days when coffee and donuts were free after the service?  Well I do.  It was at our old church.  Makes me think, maybe competition isn’t so bad after all.  Now I shall retire to repent of my sins.

What would Jesus do?

The mystique of the stay at home dad

A fellow sahd’r coined the term: MILP – Mother I’d Like to Play-date“.  It’s completely irrelevant to this post but its hilarious.

 He also coined the title, “Pity Da Fool” or “PDF” courtesy the all-American A-Team hero and renowned star of Snickers commercials Mr. T.  He states “[It's the] Mom who looks at [us] with varying degrees of condescending pity.

I do run into the PDF every now and then, but I find much more frequently the “BAD“.  The Broad in Awe of Dad.  She’s the checkout lady, the chick in line, the woman at the bank, the mom’s at dance or karate class who say, “So you have the kids today?” and I reply with a snort, “I have them everyday babe- all FOUR of them.”  Instantly a profound gaze of wonder appears over their faces as they contemplate the miracle of nature before them.  Against all odds, what they could only imagine in a science fiction novel or during their thirth-thousandth time srubbing behind a toilet,  stands before them the elusive stay-at-home dad.  Magnanimous feats of will, determination and compassion aside, I don’t let it bother me.  “A man who does what I do!  If you could only talk to my husband!” they say as their eyes well up with tears.  It’s about that time I smirk and note just how easy this job is.  “You know, watching Jerry Springer, drinking beer and eating left over fish sticks, breaded and dreaded.  Its a bum’s paradise.”  ”Way easier than the business world.” I comment.  “Now THATS work!  Hey, when the kids remember their hunger, I toss them their 1000th fruit snack and get back to Madden ‘09 on the Wii.”  Speechless and in shock, I rescue the damsel with a ”I’m only kidding”, and the BAD is restored.

Don't drop that gogurt!

When my wife is enjoying her 3rd free business lunch of the week and I’m eating Ramen and applesauce again, (not that often) I remind myself that even though the reality is, it is the toughest job I’ve ever had, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  The time spent with the kids, watching them grow into real people with all our good qualities and bad is truly priceless.  <I had to pause here to put my youngest son in timeout for hitting his sister> Plus being a stay at home dad of mystique ain’t all that bad either.  It’s like being James Bond, but with juice boxes.

staying (at home) power – Stay at home dads

Do you ever get the feeling that the longer you stay at home the more obsolete you are becoming to the rest of the world? How about feeling like once the kids grow up you won’t be able to merge back into the working world into a decent paying job? Like running a race, being a stay-at-home (sah) parent, particularly a dad, is 1/2 mental. Yes, it makes you mental, but you must remain mentally fit to achieve victory in the daily skirmishes, the onslaughts, the quiet. Its tougher for a man because our societal roles have conditioned us to a felt need to provide money for our selves through successful business employ. Its equally as tough and demanding a job for a mom, but that one factor, I would argue, upsets the male mind’s balance of ego: value, importance and significance. In today’s world where women seem to be expected to enter the workforce because being a mom is so debilitating, thanks to the evils of feminism, the female mind may be adopting a similar psyche attribute. But I’m no chick so I’ll leave those who are better anatomically suited to comment on that!

Mind yer mind or ye may feel like this

Adventures in tampons

Clean up, on aisle "your face!"

Nothing is more fun than grocery shopping with multiple assailants with a bent for anarchy.  especially when they behave like Sinanju ninja’s trained by Chiun himself.  Over the summer I have all 4 with me but now that school is back in full swing its the two youngest ones who leave the wake of terror.  And of course I am always in a hurry which exponentially increases the defcon level.

So yesterday, as I am crossing off everything on my grocerygame list, (I’m already frustrated because I can’t find things I am looking for because King Soopers puts organic items in their own complete section [thanks environmental wackos]) and I come to the dreaded end because guess whats left?  Well if you read the title you guessed it.  By now I didn’t care because when I am mad appearances don’t matter as much anymore.  I am furiously pacing up and down the feminine hygiene products aisle and see every form of maxi-this and panti-liner that but no tampons.  Thats when a store manager taps me on the shoulder in front of his female associate and asks if I need any help.  I turn to find he’s a former colleague from my mortgage business days.  I state, quite loudly, “Yes, I can’t find the tampons!”  It was a glorious moment in the epoch of man.  Needless to say I bought pads and tampons like I was stocking up for armegeddon.

These things need a slogan campaign like Taco Bell's hot sauce packets

Of course later that evening my wife lets me know that she doesn’t use pads, but liners so now all these wonder inventions of the 21st century will now have to be returned to the store by yours truly.  In a moment of grace and self-sacrifice my dear wife told me she would return them to spare me the torturous task of having to be humiliated again.

The reality is I don’t mind buying that kind of stuff.  It just adds to the mystique of “super husband”.

Saving money at the grocery store – 50% everytime

Do you spend money at the grocery store and save at least 50% EVERY WEEK?

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I use this service every week when I grocery shop and save at least 50% off the bill EVERY TIME.  It has more than paid for itself. Its $10 every 2 months.

Now you can try the trial for free for 4 weeks and see what you think. 

What makes it so cool is you only cut the coupons you need by saving the coupon flyers in a folder each week.  The Grocery Game tells you which coupons to clip from which flyers because they track the sale trends from each store and you don’t buy until that product is at a historic low.

Never cut a coupon until the list tells you which ones to cut out only for what you want to buy.

 If you use the free trial please make sure you mention us whelchelfamily@gmail.com when you sign up so we can get the referral credit. 

Saving at least 50% every week is no small matter.

 Let me know what you think after you have tried it.

 We have been using this service for going on 2 years now.

 www.grocerygame.com